This Runner's Trials
17Sep/1418

Month 5 postpartum

Posted by runnerstrials

Umm, didn’t I just write one of these? How is this sweet girl already 5 months old? Seriously, how?!

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Motherhood

This has been the best month so far! We’re finally getting into a routine and the whole household is much happier – and more well rested. This past month I started putting Hadley to bed before Wyatt (he hangs out with Sofia, Jake, or Mickey while I give her a bath and nurse her). Then I give him a bath and do his bedtime routine. I cannot tell you what a difference this has made. Having this one-on-one time with each child every night and not having to rush through someone’s bath because the other is crying has made things so much easier. Wyatt goes to bed happy and stays in bed all night (!), and Hadley is always passed out by 6:45 p.m. She still wakes up overnight to eat sometimes, but she nurses quickly and goes right back to sleep, so I don’t mind. Her naps are starting to get longer, too. She’ll usually take one solid 1+ hour nap a day now, in addition to shorter ones.

But the real reason this month has been so wonderful is because Hadley has finally discovered her brother. She is obsessed with him. She constantly tries to get his attention and will always flash him a smile and giggle if he even looks in her direction. And it makes him super happy when she laughs. I love it so much.

Breastfeeding is still going well, though she won’t take a bottle. We started solids right at 5 months per the doctor’s recommendations and so far, so good. She’s quite the little chunk and can already sit up really well. But she hasn’t rolled over in either direction since she was 2 weeks old. I have a feeling I have a while before she’s mobile!

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Postpartum weight loss

I mentioned last month that I thought I was back at my starting weight, and I am. I weighed 137 lbs. at my first prenatal doctor appointment, and 135-138 is my “happy weight”. I’ve been in that range consistently for the past month now.

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My tummy is still flabby and my hips are still wider than normal, but I’ve reached the point where I do not care at all. My clothes fit well enough and I work out really hard, so I’m just proud of my body. No one cares that my stomach isn’t flat, so why should I? And, yes, it’s not at all ironic that this body love came at the end of swimsuit season!

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Return to running

Since I share every single workout, you guys already know running is going well. I’m not as fast as I was after having Wyatt, but that’s only because my goals and training are different, not because I’m not “back” from pregnancy.

Month 5 running stats:

  • Longest run: 18 miles
  • Fastest run: 5k race in 21:35
  • Fastest mile: 6:33 during that 5k race
  • Fastest stroller run: ummm… none happened this month. Ooops! Lots of stroller walks though.

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Why did I bother spending a small fortune on the Duallie?

I’m really happy with how everything is going at 5 months in – which is a complete 180 from how I felt after having Wyatt. Things are a million times easier when you have an easy going baby vs. one who is more difficult.

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I feel incredibly fortunate to have had my kids in the order that I did (HUGE hugs to moms who have high-need babies as they’re second or third or fourth!), and I feel like the luckiest mom alive to have two healthy, happy kiddos. They are my world.

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20Aug/1420

Month 4 postpartum

Posted by runnerstrials

My baby girl is 4 months (+ 1 week) old already!

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Happiest baby ever. Thank you, God.

Time is flying. Seriously – the first 4 months of Wyatt’s life felt like the longest 4 months of my life. But the first 4 months of Hadley’s life have definitely been the fastest ever.

At the same time, I almost can’t remember what it feels like to be pregnant, but I know that I hated it. When I was going through infertility, I’d feel (embarrassingly) jealous every time I saw a pregnant woman. Then I got pregnant, and I’d get excited whenever someone announced a pregnancy. Now? I see pregnant women and just feel bad for them. I’m glad to have that stage of my life behind me.

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She’s so much more fun on the outside – even when she’s grumpy.

Motherhood

  • Sleep: Well folks, the 4-month sleep regression is real. It started exactly one week before Hadley turned 4 months old. I never noticed it with Wyatt because he had no where to regress to. I just re-read Hadley’s 3-month update and I want to cry. I can’t believe she used to sleep so well. She’s up 2 times most nights now, and is ready to start the day by 6 a.m. However, naps have gotten better. She’ll usually take two 1-hour long naps in her crib each day, and the rest of her naps are on the go. The sleep regression isn’t all bad, though. Now she’s so tired during the day that she actually rests her head on me. She used to be a pretty non-cuddly baby so I’ll take it.

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  • Breastfeeding: Is still going really well. Eating is Hadley’s favorite; she is humungous – 17lbs and in size 9 months clothes – and hums whenever she nurses. She’s still not taking a bottle, though, unless she’s dream-fed.
  • Mom of two: Wyatt is taking more of an interest in Hadley, and absolutely loves helping taking care of her. Things have been easier this month but only because I’ve been in NJ with my parents for 2.5 weeks. They were gone the other day, though, and I was alone with the kids and quickly remembered how much more difficult it is caring for two kids on my own. Maybe Hadley will be past her sleep regression by the time we get home this weekend. That would certainly make things easier for mama. #wishfulthinking

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Postpartum weight loss:

I weighed myself before we left for NJ and I was at my pre-pregnancy weight!

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Ignore my hair – it’s been falling out in chunks and is even more of a disaster than normal.

But I have a feeling I may have put a couple pounds back on since then. Between Hadley’s extra overnight feeding sessions and my longer runs, my appetite has been insatiable – and I’ve been making some unhealthy food choices. This happens every time I’m in NJ because it’s the land of Surf Taco, crumb cake, and fudge. Totally worth it!

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I still have a belly and am much wider through my hips. Three pairs of pre-pregnancy shorts fit me, but most other things don’t yet, including most shirts. I wish I could buckle down, do more ab work, and limit my sweets intake to lose my belly but I’m too lazy. I feel like I look pretty similar to how I did at 4 months after having Wyatt, and my belly eventually went back close to normal size after I had him, so I’m just not motivated. Instead, I’ll just cringe and whine every time I try something on that doesn’t fit. I make no sense.

Return to running:

As I’ve mentioned in my NYCM training updates, running is going really well. The only weird thing I’ve been experiencing lately is nipple chafing. It’s been happening on every single run, and it’s not even that humid here. I’ve never had this issue before, so I’m assuming it’s breastfeeding-related? All of my nursing sports bras are new, so I can’t figure it out.

Here are my month 4 running stats:

  • Longest run – 12 miles
  • Fastest run – 7 miles in 7:37 pace (which included 7x 800m at 6:52 pace, hence the fast average)
  • Fastest mile – 7:00 flat during 800m repeats
  • Fastest stroller run – 5 miles at 8:03 pace (with Hadley) <--- I likely won’t beat this until the next time I’m in NJ where it’s flat.

I feel pretty much like I’m back to my old self with running. I’m a little slower than where I was after I had Wyatt, but I think that has more to do with marathon training this time around instead of half marathon training.

Things are good and I love my happy girl so much!

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1Aug/1434

On that “just wait” advice

Posted by runnerstrials

Years ago, I overheard two older woman I know talking about another woman, who was younger than them. The younger woman just had her second baby – the older women each had two children of their own who were college-aged.

“Why is she complaining about how hard it is to have two kids? Every mother has been there. She’s not going through anything special. Just wait until her kids are teens, that’s the hard part.”

At the time, I was studying for the LSAT (how funny is is that I planned on being a lawyer?). I was so nervous for this test. I’d taken prep courses and spoken with lawyers and professors. Some of them told me it was no big deal. “Every lawyer has taken it. Just wait until you’re in law school, that’s the hard part.”

But it was a big deal. Doing well on this test was so important to me. I was stressed about it and wanted to do well. (Ironically, I did – and then I decided not to even apply to law school.)

I had a feeling those lawyers were once stressed about the LSAT, too. And I have a feeling that those moms thought having a toddler and a newborn was hard when they were going through it. But just because so many people have gone through it didn’t make my feelings any less valid.

The thing is we seem to look at our pasts through rose-colored lenses. We hold on to the good parts and our memories appear so much better than what really happened. And when we think about the bad parts, we don’t remember them being quite so bad. Because we can only really feel the present.

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Yes, they are the best gifts ever – but sometimes they drive me crazy.

This week has been tough for me. Both of my kids have been waking up in the middle of the night, and the hours from 4-8 p.m. have been even more challenging than normal. The other night I had to go in the bathroom and cry with Hadley while I distracted Wyatt with an episode of Little Einsteins. I thought I wish I was still pregnant and only had one to deal with.

Did I really want that, though? No. I was miserable when I was pregnant, but how easy it is to forget how terrible morning sickness and insomnia truly are when it happened months ago. So, I tried to reverse my thinking and imagine my future. One day they won’t want to hang out with me all evening – heck, I won’t even know where they are.

But I cannot even picture that right now because I have zero concept of what it’s like to have teenagers. I can only feel now. I hear her shrieking at the top of her lungs, feel my shoulders throbbing from holding her for so long, unable to comfort him during his tantrum because I can’t put her down, all while the house is an utter disaster and I have no idea what we’ll have for dinner. And you know what? In that moment those teenage years sounded pretty appealing.

Even though I knew millions of moms had been in my exact same situation before, it didn’t make me feel any better. That’s great that they survived, but in the midst of it I didn’t feel like I would (I’m not at all dramatic.)

Here’s what I wish we all could keep in mind. Just because you achieved something successfully – such as raising little kids  – and have moved on to a new life challenge, doesn’t mean that people who are currently raising little kids have it easy. It doesn’t even mean that you had it easy at the time – you simply don’t remember how hard it was because you can only focus on the present.

Likewise, warning the person currently raising the baby to fear the teenage years is pointless, too. She’ll have zero grasp of what that’s like because she can only focus on her current situation. Plus, each person’s experiences are different. Everyone told me to appreciate Wyatt when he was a baby because toddlers were “so bad”, but I prefer toddlers to babies.

So, to everyone who is pregnant, raising little kids, or studying for the LSAT – it is hard. I hope no one gives you any “just wait” advice that belittles your feelings. Instead I hope they say “I’m so sorry – it sucks” and offer you a cupcake. Because, really, baked goods are infinitely better than any advice.

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