This Runner's Trials
20Jun/1431

A day in the life (with a 2.5 year old and a 2 month old)

Posted by runnerstrials

I love these posts, and I haven’t done one since having Hadley. Life is unpredictable right now because she’s so young and not in a routine yet. Still, I thought it would be fun to jot down how our days are like now so I remember it in the future.

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12:40 a.m. – I hear Wyatt’s bedroom door open so I jump out of bed and sprint to meet him before he gets to our room. The last thing I want him to do is wake up Hadley. I tuck him in and tell him to stay in his room until it’s light out.

4:10 a.m. – an exact repeat of what happened just a few hours ago.

5:00 a.m. on the nose – Hadley lets out a scream. I heard her stirring for a few minutes, so I get up, change her, and realize her diaper leaked through her pajamas and swaddle. I change her while Jeff changes her pack ‘n’ play sheet. I nurse her and put her back down. The whole process – even with the outfit change – lasts 12 minutes.

5:26 a.m. – my alarm is set to go off in 4 minutes and I never fell back to sleep, so I get up and go pump. When Hadley started sleeping really well a few weeks ago, I decided to start pumping every morning instead of letting my supply even out. I pump 8-10 ounces in the morning and half goes to Wyatt and the other half goes in a bottle in case Hadley gets hungry while I’m gone. She rarely does so we’re building up quite the freezer stash.

I brush my teeth, change into my workout clothes, gather dirty laundry and pump parts, and head downstairs. I throw the laundry in the machine, freeze the breastmilk from the day before, wash pump parts, and spend a few minutes picking up the living room because I realize I never did last night – oops! I eat a half of banana, add some ice and milk to my iced coffee, and am in my car by 6:10 a.m.

6:30- 7:15 a.m. – spin class.

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7:30 a.m. – walk in the door and immediately transfer the laundry from the washer to dryer. As soon as I walk into the kitchen, I’m attacked by a happy Wyatt – Jeff said he woke up around 6:15. I get both of our breakfasts ready – frozen waffles with peanut butter and banana for both of us – while Jeff goes upstairs to get a crying Hadley who is waking up.

In the next hour I eat, nurse Hadley, take a shower, get both kids dressed, make sure my bag has enough diapers, wipes, and snacks, load and turn on the dishwasher.

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And try to capture baby smiles.

8:30 a.m. – head out the door to go to Jeff’s office for laser therapy on my foot. I take Hadley in my car, Jeff takes Wyatt. I thought she’d pass out so I’d have some peace and quiet in the car, but nope! This week has been pretty rough for her – it’s by far her crankiest yet.

9:10 a.m. – get adjusted and get laser therapy. I change and nurse Hadley before heading out. I’m thrilled she eats a lot because I don’t want to feed her during our morning activity. I’m OK nursing in public when it’s somewhere Wyatt can’t run away from me. This morning we’re going to the Charlotte Nature Museum, though, and he can easily get lost.

10:00 a.m. – arrive at the Nature Museum. Put Hadley in the K’tan and she quickly falls asleep (wohoo!). I try to explain to the crazy toddler that he can’t run away from me. He doesn’t listen.

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Regardless, we have a fun morning with our friends!

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Who recognized these sweet girls?

11:30 a.m. – time to leave if I want to make it home without risking a car nap. Hadley slept the whole time at the museum, but she wakes up when I take her out the K’tan. I change her and nurse her in the trunk of my car with Wyatt sitting next to me chowing down on raisins.

11:45 a.m. -- We head home and Hadley screams the entire way. How do I have the only two babies in the world who hate the car? During the car ride I also learned that Wyatt knows the chorus to “Fancy” which is hysterical. Then I realized I probably need to start censoring my music choices when he’s around.

12:15 p.m. – arrive home and immediately change and feed the crank, hoping it was one of those things making her so unhappy. Nope. She has a major spit up episode and both her and I need new outfits. I plop her in the bouncy seat, still screaming, and make sandwiches for Wyatt and I – turkey for me, grilled cheese for him. I also throw some veggie stock and quinoa in a pot and spend a whole two minutes chopping veggies for dinner tonight. That’s called cooking these days.

12:45 p.m. – I turn on Mickey for Wyatt, while I pace for 20 minutes trying to calm Hadley down.

1:10 p.m. – I change Wyatt’s diaper and outfit, and read him a book. Mind you, Hadley is still screaming so he kicks me out of his room before we can even finish Llama Llama Red Pajama. Sorry, bud!

1:20 p.m. – I swaddle Hadley and nurse her. I know she’s probably not hungry, but I know she’ll be more likely to take a pack ‘n’ play nap if I let her nurse to sleep. She’s successfully taken pack ‘n’ play naps 3/4 days this week – last week, she took 0 naps in the crib in 5 attempts so I think she prefers the pack ‘n’ play. It is my goal in life to get their afternoon naps synched!

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Success!

1:28 p.m. – I put Hadley down and hear Wyatt’s door open. He needs a new diaper. I change him and he goes to sleep.

1:30 p.m. – go time! I open my computer, respond to emails, and brainstorm article ideas for next week. Hadley sleeps well so I have time to unload the dishwasher and clean up the kitchen from lunch, too!

2:20 p.m. – I hear that Hadley is up. I try to ignore her and hope that she settles back to sleep on her own. But she doesn’t. That’s OK – a 50 minute crib nap at 2 months is pretty amazing, so I’ll take it!

I nurse Hadley and spend the rest of the time until Wyatt wakes up trying to keep her happy. I sing, walk, dance, and play with her on her activity mat, etc. Things were going well until I attempted tummy time. I should have known better!

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3:40 p.m. – Wyatt is up! I’m very happy with today’s nap after yesterday’s 40 minute one! I make us a snack to share – Greek yogurt, blueberries, and almonds – and turn on Little Einsteins.

Then I have a talk with Wyatt. We have his friend’s birthday pool party tonight at 5:30. I have to take both kids to the pool alone in 97 degree weather. I’m going to have to get in the pool with Wyatt, and hope Hadley stays happy in her carseat in the shade. I’m really nervous about this. I’m scared she’ll have a meltdown and I’ll need to leave him alone in the water (he’ll be wearing a lifejacket, there are lifeguards, and he’s been in swim lessons for over a year, but still… he’s two!) and I’m scared that she’ll literally melt from the heat. But it’s one of those things that I’ll never know how it will pan out unless I try! So, I talk to Wyatt about how important it is that he listens to me tonight.

4:00 p.m. -- I try to get Hadley in sleep mode again. I’m try to be strict about only keeping her awake 1-2 hours at a time. I nurse her and she passes out, but she’s not settled so I let her lay on me for a bit. I turn on Mickey for Wyatt because he’s whiny, and because we watch a lot of TV now that Hadley is around. #momoftheyear

After a few minutes, I put her down on her Boppy newborn lounger in the living room. Then I find our swimsuits and pack our bag for the party. I try to fold the laundry that’s been sitting in the dryer all day, but Wyatt is a little too eager to “help”. Our neighbors – Wyatt’s BFF who is moving in a few weeks waaah – stop over for a bit and I chat while Wyatt plays.

5:00 p.m. – Hadley wakes up, we say bye to our friends, I nurse her, put his bathing suit on, and put mine on.

5:30 p.m. – We get to the pool and it’s clouded over and there’s a nice breeze. I keep Hadley in her carseat where she’s happy looking around and I sit on the edge of the pool while Wyatt plays. For the next 1.5 hours, she’s happy being in and out of her carseat and he listens to me somewhat well. My friends lend me a hand when I need it. He even eats a bit of pizza! The evening goes better than expected, and I make a mental note to brave the pool alone with them again the next time it’s cloudy and cooler.

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Then, after I dry off and change Wyatt, he takes off into the grass and steps in a red ant pile. Figures!

7:15 p.m. – get home and immediately give Wyatt some Benadryl. He’s calmed down a lot but there are about a dozen bites on his feet. Poor guy! I nurse Hadley.

7:40 p.m. – bath time for Wyatt. I put Hadley in her swing outside the bathroom while he brushes his teeth. She screams the entire time I give him his bath, but I don’t know what else I’m supposed to do. I get him out of the bath and get him dressed, then take her out of the swing. I try to calm her down while I read to him, but he starts getting upset. Another story time fail for the day. Sigh. Luckily he’s out a few minutes after 8 p.m.

I get changed and get Hadley dressed for bed. We go downstairs and I eat the quinoa salad standing up while swaying back and forth with her.

8:15 p.m. – Jeff gets home. I tell him I have things under control, so he goes on the bike trainer. I nurse Hadley, she falls asleep, and I put her in the Boppy again – I really should start putting her down upstairs, but I’m too lazy tonight.

8:30 p.m. – I eat too many pretzel M&Ms and write most of this post – I’ll finish the rest of it in the morning.

9:15 p.m. – I fold laundry, pick up the living room, load the dishwasher, brew coffee and put it in the fridge, gather bottles and pump parts and head upstairs. I lay out my running gear for the morning, get ready for bed, and set my alarm for 5:30 a.m.

9:50 p.m. – I call down to Jeff and he brings up Hadley. He changes her diaper and swaddles her. She stays asleep tonight so I don’t nurse her again. I thank God that tomorrow is Friday and pray that Wyatt sleeps all night. Kind of odd that I trust the 2 month old will sleep better than the 2 year old, but that’s been the case lately. I fall asleep the minute my head hits the pillow.

13Jun/1424

Two months in (the second time)

Posted by runnerstrials

Hadley is two months old today! She is still such a good baby (thank you God), and I am so happy to be her mom. If you smile at her, she’ll smile back at you – at any time! It doesn’t matter if it’s 4 a.m. or if she’s mid-cry, she’ll crack a smile if you look at her. This girl loves attention.

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Recovery

I’m feeling really good and more like my former, non-pregnant self every day. The only time I remember I “just” (how much longer can I use that qualifier?) had a baby is when I’m exercising and I feel some looser body parts jiggle. More on exercise and weight loss in my next post, though.

I had my 6-week checkup a couple of weeks ago, and I’m all healed. I was relieved to hear this because after Wyatt, I wasn’t cleared for all activities until 10 weeks because I tore so badly.

The best news ever in the recovery department is that the swelling is gone! I’m so happy. It took 7 full weeks postpartum, but I can finally wear my wedding rings for the first time since January.

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Sleep deprivation

I feel like a jerk admitting this, but I’m not sleep deprived from Hadley (if this was someone else’s 2.5 year update, he’d be  getting blamed for the sleep deprivation. But that’s another story…). I was more sleep deprived during pregnancy from insomnia than I am now. Hadley sleeps 7-8 hours overnight (I know, you can hate me), and when she wakes up it’s just to eat for 10 minutes and she goes right back down for another couple of hours. It’s amazing.

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Happy, well-rested baby.

I know I have zero room to complain, but I still feel worn out at the end of each day. I think this is just a side effect of being a mom, though, and I don’t expect to feel better any time soon. Hadley is not a good napper unless she’s being held (not a complaint, just a fact. I’ll take an overnight sleeper over a napper any day.), so I’m always with one of my kiddos all day long. Which is draining, and the reason I have no problem working out first thing in the morning – I need some “me” time!

This week I’ve been working on trying to get Hadley to nap in her crib in the afternoons, and we’re trying to put her to bed earlier at night too (right now she doesn’t go down until 9:30ish). So, once I can get her to nap not one me or go to bed before me, I’ll probably feel a lot better because I’ll get a break.

Breastfeeding

Nursing continues to be a rollercoaster. I shared about the hole in my nipple during my one month update. At my 6-week postpartum checkup, I was still in a lot of pain so I asked my midwife what to do. She told me the only way it’d probably heal was if I stopped breastfeeding. I spent the next week really debating what to do. I nursed Wyatt for 20 months and assumed I’d nurse Hadley long, too, but I really couldn’t deal with the pain anymore.

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Stopping breastfeeding is such a tough, emotional decision. I know all of the benefits of breastfeeding and felt an incredible bond when I nursed Wyatt. But with Hadley, nursing has always been a source of pain and frustration. And honestly, I feel like I don’t need nursing to bond with her because she’s such a happy baby. With Wyatt, the only time he was content was when he was on my boob, so it was a different situation.

Every time I nursed her, I felt like I was having an internal battle with myself. Keep nursing -- she’s a chunk so something is working. The pain isn’t worth it -- why put yourself through breastfeeding when there’s an alternative? But I have a great supply – even enough to pump and give Wyatt, and his immune system can use a boost. Ahhh but the pain. Ahhh but formula is expensive.

Then last Monday, I woke up and my boob didn’t hurt – and it hasn’t since (the hole healed as an open wound – it’s so lovely). But Hadley still hates that side because she got a blister on her lip from the hole, and will only nurse if I’m holding her like a football – which is getting hard to do because she’s almost 13 lbs.

So, I’m still exclusively breastfeeding but our nursing struggles aren’t over. This whole ordeal has made me look at breastfeeding in a different light. I always knew breast isn’t best for everyone. But now I see that the pro-breastfeeding messaging is just making moms who supplement or formula-feed feel bad. It’s really awful actually. And I know I’ve unintentionally contributed to this with things I’ve said in the past, so I feel like a bum.

Anyway, has anyone ever kept their supply in only one boob? Is that even possible? It’s something I’m considering if Hadley keeps refusing that side – pumping from that side several times a day is not an option.

Being a mom of two

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Wyatt is great with Hadley. He says the cutest things like “it’s OK baby sister – no tears!” and “be patient Hadley, mommy is changing me first and then will change you.” He tries to help me out with her and loves when he can grab a new diaper, put her swing music on, or “watch” her for me while I go into another room for a minute. He’s such a sweet boy and I love him so much.

However, he’s 2.5 and he drives me crazy a lot of days. I swear, on his worst days Hadley wants to be held constantly – it’s like they’re already ganging up on me! So, we definitely have some tough moments. But we have some great days, too, so I can’t complain too much. At two months in, things are going better than expected.

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I love you so much, baby girl!

2Jun/1427

7 weeks (this time)

Posted by runnerstrials

My girl turned 7 weeks old yesterday!

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(Insert typical mom “where has the time gone?” remark.)

Seven weeks is a big milestone in our household. It’s when we realized Wyatt’s behavior wasn’t a typical. He’d already gotten the reflux and colic diagnoses, but 7 weeks is when his sleeping tanked and he started waking up every hour.

I wrote this post the day Wyatt turned 7 weeks old, and I just tried to re-read it but I couldn’t make it through. My heart started racing, my palms got sweaty, and I felt pins and needles all over. I love my son more than anything, but I’m not quite ready to re-live those moments from his infancy.

I know I said I wouldn’t compare my babies, but a lot* of people have asked if Hadley is a better sleeper than Wyatt. Overnight, she is the polar opposite of her brother (THANK GOD). I’m embarrassed to admit how long she sleeps at night because 90% of you will hate me. (She’ll only nap on me during the day so that makes it even, right? No. Not at all.)

A (teeny tiny) part of me is grateful for everything we went through with Wyatt. It made me a more patient and understanding person, and perhaps the rough initiation to motherhood is exactly what my overly type A self needed. Plus, I’m glad that I had Wyatt first. If Hadley was the oldest, I would have thought her sleeping habits and overall demeanor were normal.

I would have thought all babies slept most of the night. I would have thought “fussy” = general evening crankiness accompanied by maybe 20 minutes of all out screaming. I would have thought a couple bouts of spit up in a day were “a lot”, and assumed all babies were able to stay in the same outfit all day long. I would have thought babies could chill in bouncy seats and swings for a bit without pterodactyl screeching so moms could get some things around the house done.

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I would have thought wrong. I know that all babies are not anywhere near this easy. So, you better believe that I count my lucky stars every day that Hadley is. I keep waiting for the other shoe to drop, but we’re at 7 weeks now. I don’t want to jinx it, but I’m starting to think that maybe she really is this good.

I stumbled upon an article again last week that I first read two years ago: Why it’s Not “Just” Colic or Fussiness. It's so good that I just had to share it again. It’s one of the only pieces that accurately illustrates what it’s like to have a high-need baby. I wholeheartedly agree with all of the points the author makes.

The piece reignited a lot of old feelings and brought back some memories. I’m so thankful that the high-need experience is (hopefully) in the past for my family. It’s crazy to think that my ridiculously happy toddler is the same kid who wouldn’t crack a smile for days on end when he was an infant.

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He’s kind of a happy kid now.

Even if Hadley decides sleeping and smiling aren’t fun anymore, I’ll take heart in knowing that it’s “just” a (very long and extremely difficult) phase. But for now, I’m so happy that my little girl is so happy – and well-rested!

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And I’m thankful that her big brother loves her. He covered her and started reading to her!

So, that’s where we are at 7 weeks. We definitely have some difficult moments, but overall Hadley is so sweet. She almost makes me want to have another baby. Almost

*blogger speak for 2+ people.