On March 22 last year, I had a 7am RE appointment for blood work and a follicle check ultrasound. If all looked good, I would be inseminated a couple days later, on my birthday no less. I was on a new fertility drug and felt weird, so I was cautiously optimistic.
The attending doctor (not my regular RE) did my ultrasound and said I just ovulated, and that my lining looked “fantastic”. There would be no insemination, but he told me I could be pregnant. My nurse would call me later that day with my blood work results, though, just to be sure everything was OK.
I was ecstatic to say the least. I actually ovulated! Without the help of a shot. For possibly the first time ever. And there was the chance that I could be pregnant! I’m sure I got nothing accomplished at work that morning. At lunch, I headed out for a long walk instead of a run just to be on the safe side. <--- Likely the smartest move I’ve ever made.
At the end of the walk, my phone rang. I saw it was my nurse, but when I picked up the phone, I heard my doctor’s voice. He never calls me. I knew right away something was wrong.
This is the part of the story you all know. My blood work showed that I ovulated, but it was an immature egg, my ovaries were being “weird”, he didn’t know why, I needed to go on birth control pills for awhile to calm the PCOS down, I’d get my period in a week, blah, blah, blah. All I heard was “you’re not pregnant now, and you may never be.”
My personal journal entry on 3/22/11 is filled with some pretty strong words. It would be insensitive to recount those feelings of a year ago because we all know what happened: My doctor was wrong.
Unless this is an immature egg?
The point of my ramblings (assuming there ever is one…)? Don’t give up. I was this close to stopping fertility treatments. Many women go through much, much more than I did, but I was almost at my breaking point. If I gave up, I would have never met my favorite person in the world.
I have too many loved ones going through tough times right now: Fertility issues, heartbreaking diagnoses, relationship challenges, job drama, quarter (third?) life crises. Sometimes things suck. In a lot of instances, way worse than I could ever imagine. But more often than not, it gets better.
The best things in life rarely come easily.
Keep fighting, friends. A lot can change in a year. <3