Could I be a stay-at-home mom?
I never really thought about this question until last week, when I got laid off.
Could I be a stay-at-home mom? Well, yes I could do anything I put my mind to. But the question carries more weight than that.
It really means:
- Can I afford to be a stay-at-home mom? and
- Do I want to be a stay-at-home mom?
The short answer to both questions is not really.
Now the long answers 
1. Can I afford to be a stay-at-home mom?
I found this nifty Stay at Home Calculator at parents.com. It looks at your income and expenses and basically tells you if you can afford to quit your job to become a full-time mommy.
According to the calculator, I cannot afford to be a stay-at-home mom. In fact, it would leave us with -$7000 each year. And I definitely under-budgeted savings, vacations, unexpected expenses, and gifts.
But what if we drastically reduced our expenses? If we cut out the following, I could stay at home with baby:
- Cable. I already got our bill reduced by 35% each month when I told our company I was laid off.
- Phones. We have a land line specifically for my job. After my last day of work, I'm canceling it. We could also cancel our data plans on our cell phones.
- Student loans. Our biggest expense, how I loathe thee. I'm guessing we could get the monthly payment reduced, but it would end up costing us more in interest in the long run.
- Food. We don't stick to a grocery budget well at all. I'm excited for the challenge though!
- Entertainment expenses (dining out and other fun activities). We only eat out 1-2 times per week, but we're willing to cut back more. We don't go to the movies or sporting events that often, so there's not much space to cut back.
- Car payment. We could become a one car family. But my husband works 25 minutes from home and is gone 11 hours a day. It would not be very practical- or smart or healthy- for me to sit in the house all day with a baby.
- Races. Races are expensive so they'd have to go
- Vacations and traveling. Vacations are pricey so they'll have to be cut out as well. And no traveling means no visiting my family in NJ.
- Medical malpractice insurance. No one would dare sue my darling husband, right? So we'll just forget about insurance. Kidding.
- Saving money. Who cares about retirement? My husband stands on his feet for 55 hours a week. Totally easy. He can do it until he's 80. And our child doesn't need to go to college. Over-rated. Kidding again.
The truth is, I'm not willing to cut out a lot of these expenses. No races or vacations? Heck no. I learned a long time ago that happiness is more important than money. You never know how much time you have with your loved ones, so you need to enjoy them while you can.
And forgetting about savings? I'm no fool.
This lesson made it clear that I have to work. But, it also showed me I may not necessarily need a full-time job. Working part-time may be enough if we cut some expenses and make money-saving choices (like breast-feeding and cloth diapering which we planned to do anyway).
2. Do I want to be a stay-at-home mom?
Call me crazy, but even if we didn't have to worry about money, I'd still want to work… part-time.
My job isn't just a job, it's a passion. I love public health. I love helping people make healthy behavior modifications, and giving them accurate information to facilitate those changes. But I also know, I'd love to stay home with my children.
The conclusion (…if you made it this far)
I'm still looking for a full-time job, but finding one that will let me take a maternity leave is highly unlikely. In my perfect world, I'll land a steady freelance medical writing gig and it will be enough to help us get by until after baby is born.
I always assumed I'd continue to work full-time once I had kids. But I had reservations about going back to work after baby even before I knew about the layoff. How can you have the career you want and raise your children the way you want? It sucks that a lot of women have to grapple with this decision. Proving yet again that we are the stronger sex
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August 12th, 2011 - 08:04
Great post! I think I’d want to stay home or pursue a part-time activity to get me out of the house, but then again, I’m not all that crazy about my current job. That obviously changes things! Thanks for linking to that stay at home calculator. I’m not ready for kids just yet, but the hubby and I are definitely starting to talk about it.
August 12th, 2011 - 08:07
That’s a really hard internal debate. I grew up with a stay at home mom and it was great but I can see where you need and want to continue working. I hope that it all works out in the end and you find a flexible job that gives you the time raise your child the way you want and still work in a field you are so passionate about. We are totally the stronger sex
August 12th, 2011 - 08:08
My mom was a stay at home mom all of my life. She still is 23 years later (although she does a ton of volunteer work). I think it is without a doubt one of the hardest jobs there is. But my mom also always knew this is what she wanted, she never wanted to leave kids with someone other than herself and she saved when she worked and picked a husband based on that. I know that sounds kind of bad, picking someone that can “take care of you”, but from that generation it was normal and my dad is very old fashioned in that manner as well. He wanted my mom to stay home, so it worked perfect for them. My boyfriend and I are no where near this time in our life, but his career choice is something I took into consideration since mine can be a little more up in the air.
For me, I think I would always want to work in some form. First of all having my own money is beyond, beyond important to me. Pulling my weight in the house monetarily is also important to me. But I really don’t want to miss those important moments with my kids or have them ever feel like they were raised by someone other than me. It’s definitely a difficult balance for working moms out there and people trying to figure out what they want to do.
August 12th, 2011 - 08:12
This is really interesting (and that calculator is a really neat tool). I know it’s something a lot of women grapple with, and something I will too, when my time comes. I love what I do but I also can’t imagine not being their with my (future) children. So I don’t know where that balance will fall for me. I can imagine that finding the perfect balance will look differently for everyone, or change over time. You may not think you could stay at home full time now, but who knows what the future (and more children!) will bring.
For now, I’m really hoping that you’ll find freelance work that will at least get you through to December. And of course, I hope something more comes out of it after that! You are a strong woman whose passion for what she does shines through. I KNOW that’s going to help you find work! Fingers (and toes) are crossed for you Jen!!
August 12th, 2011 - 08:12
I’m not a mom, but I think it’s fine to work if that’s what you want to do. I wouldn’t want to give up some of those things either. I’m pretty sure that when/if we have kids, I’ll go back to work.
August 12th, 2011 - 08:13
It is definitely a tough decision, and as a Mom that stays at home, I can tell you 1- it’s not easy, but 2- it’s worth it. You’re definitely attacking it the right way, analyzing it and with your head, not heart. You seem to be making smart financial decisions and most importantly, recognizing that YOU still have to be happy with what you choose. I hate when people make adjustments that take away their happiness, that isn’t good for you! Yes, us runners love races, even though expensive (this is the main reason I haven’t run many), but you simply need to pick and choose the ones you REALLY want to do (for me it is knocking Half2Run half-marathon states off my list).
Stay positive and keep searching, something will come up. It will all work out the way it is supposed to!
It will all work out for you, I just have a feeling. If something full-time doesn’t come up before baby, the freelance option would work great- at least it would be bringing in some $. While the first few weeks/month are a change, it is the time you’ll most be able to still get work done. Your little boy will SERIOUSLY just eat, poop & sleep, leaving you plenty of time to write. That is what I found with Riley anyway. That first 2 months I had more time, especially compared to now that she only naps a few hours and it starting to walk!
Sorry for the super long response
August 12th, 2011 - 08:14
Oh and who can stick to a food/ grocery budget anyway? Anyone? We sure can’t no matter how hard we try!
August 12th, 2011 - 08:14
I think about this a lot since we are hoping to TTC soon. I love my job, and while I think it would be great to take a few years off while our kids are young, I would lose all my seniority and have to start back at square one. And that’s not what I want.
August 12th, 2011 - 08:15
I’m jealous of people that have jobs they love and get paid for what they are worth. Ever since I’ve moved to Charlotte – I’ve struggled finding anything I really love – plus I’ve gotten paid crap. It made our decision for me to stay home full time very easy. I definitely think you can have the career and the kids. I know something will work out for you guys – you are obviously so passionate about your industry and definitely have the education / experience to back in. In the meantime, I’ll enjoy having you home for awhile – we can have playdates!
August 12th, 2011 - 08:21
If anyone is offended by your post – well, they have issues. Ha. It sounds like you are going about it/thinking about it the right way. I am still a firm believer that we can have it all – career, family, fun, etc… I do think it is important for women to keep up their job related skills. The last thing you want to happen is for your kids to be grown and all you are qualified to do is flip burgers. You are in a feild where you can do that without a “real” 9-5 job. You may have to sacrifice a bit, but you can do it! Things happen for a reason. Sometimes it takes a while to figure out what that reason is – but it will become clear. Good luck.
August 12th, 2011 - 08:21
I think everyone has the right to do as they choose without having to qualify it to anyone. I am a stay at home mom; I knew from the very beginning that staying home was important to ME. I have friends who stay home and friends who work, we all love our kids and that is what matters. My husband is the breadwinner, so me staying home has never been an issue, financially. He’s on his third deployment, this one 18 months in length, which makes me feel confident in the decision I’ve made to stay home. But that is what works for our family.
I hope you’ll be able to find work, be it full time or part time. Best wishes!
August 12th, 2011 - 08:38
What a great post! I am no where near having kids, but I still struggle with wanting to have a career (at least part time) when I do. Besides the fact that I am spending seven years and several thousand dollars to have a job that I love, I feel that I would need more structure in my life and a sense of identity outside of my family. I don’t mean anything against moms who choose to stay at home, I just don’t think it would work for me personally. There certainly is not a right or wrong decision, just whatever makes you happy! Best of luck with finding a job!
August 12th, 2011 - 08:43
Tough questions!! I’m hoping to work part time (or SOME amount of time) and still have time to be home with a baby. In my head, it’s the best of both worlds. But in reality, will it work? I have no idea.
I hope you can find a gig you love- that makes the decision so much easier!
August 12th, 2011 - 08:49
I went through the same thought process after finding out I was pregnant. When we first got married, we thought we would wait only 2 years to have kids. Well, working in the fitness industry during an economic recession isn’t the ideal situation. I got laid of from the job I loved, went back to school, and got a teaching certificate. And of course, right now, teaching jobs are getting cut left and right – and of course, I am looking for a job in PE. There are a TON of us and only a handful of jobs. I was lucky to find the job that I have as a PE assistant teacher at a small private school getting paid hourly but working 40 hours a week. After I found out I was pregnant + how much daycare would probably cost for me to go back to work, I thought it might just be cheaper for me to stay-at-home with our little girl. But, even though my job pays crap, I LOVE it! I am so passionate about what I do and although it’s not my ideal job, I still have the chance to look for a different teaching job after the baby comes.
I still am going to check out the stay-at-home calculator, because that would be AWESOME, but I’m pretty sure that since I’m also married to a teacher, there is no way we would be able to afford for me to stay home.
August 12th, 2011 - 08:51
Since my first son was born almost 10 years ago, I’ve worked full-time, I’ve worked part-time in an office, I’ve been 100% stay at home, and now I work very part-time from home. We didn’t think I could afford to stay at home and quite frankly I had no desire to be a stay at home mom, but surprisingly things worked out financially and I didn’t lose my mind. ;o) I’ve loved being able to spend more time with my kids, but more importantly I’ve loved how much easier it has made our lives. When I’m not working out of the home, we don’t have to worry about daycare or sick kids or doctor’s appointments or who is picking up the kids when my husband is traveling.
What I’ve learned as a SAHM is this:
*always keep your resume up to date (I actually have a couple of versions, depending on whether what I’m applying for is writing related, running related or prior career related.)
*maintain your contacts
*take short term gigs if you think they will help you in the long term, even if they don’t pay well or make your schedule difficult for a short time
*be open to different careers (pre-kids, I was a librarian, managing a large budget for a federal library. Now, I’m a writer, running coach and the operations manager for a friend’s business. I never expected to be any of those.)
Most importantly, know that the decision to work or not work doesn’t have to be a long-term decision. A lot of the moms I know, myself included, have been in and out of the work force in different ways over the years since we had kids.
Good luck!
August 12th, 2011 - 08:52
Great post Jen with a lot of tough questions to think about. We’re not planning on having kids any time soon or ever even but, I’ve always thought that I would not be satisfied staying at home if we did or even if we won the lottery tomorrow. I can totally understand the desire to want to contribute to the working world and do something you’re passionate about, whether it be full or part time. Right now, I am the breadwinner and the only one who has healthcare options out of the two of us so it puts me in a position that necessitates me keeping my full time job or paying an exorbitant amount of $ out of pocket which I’m not willing to do (yet) but I could totally see myself working part time doing stuff I loved (not what I’m doing currently) instead of the full time gig down the road.
I really hope it all works out for you two in the short and long term!
August 12th, 2011 - 08:55
I know that when I have kids, I will do everything in my power to stay home with them. Granted, I might have to work part time, or heck, it may work out that I have to work full time, but I feel like it is worth the sacrifice to stay at home to raise kids. I have this nagging voice in the back of my head that always asks myself why I would pay someone else to raise my kids. Of course, staying at home is not for everyone, and I totally respect moms that work out of the home – double duty is a hard job!!
August 14th, 2011 - 17:28
I don’t think that daycare is necessarily paying someone to “raise” your kids- the raising part comes in at home from the manners, values, and beliefs you instill into your children. Daycare providers are more about living in the now, understandably, while the foundation for the future happens with parents.
August 12th, 2011 - 09:02
this has been an ongoing debate for as long as brandon and i have been together. he grew up with a mom who stayed at home and i grew up with a mom who worked full-time. both definitely have their positives and negatives.
i know 100% that i want to do something when i have children. luckily, my career path will allow me to set my own schedule and to have some flexibility.
really hoping that things work out for you. i love how realistic and down-to-earth you are about all of this.
August 12th, 2011 - 09:41
I always thought I would be a full time working mom, but that didn’t happen. I was a SAHM for two years and for two years I’ve been working part time. You probably won’t know what you really want until the moment comes. I’m ready to start my career again, but for the last 4 years, I’ve really enjoyed being June Clever.
August 12th, 2011 - 09:49
I’m a stay at home mum and I’m not remotely offended, having a different opinion to someone else is OK! lol
Sounds like you’ve worked out what will probably work for you, part time will give you the best of both worlds that bring you joy. I have friends who are workaholics and having a child was just something they felt they should do, I have other friends who adore their kids but openly admit they would climb the walls if they couldn’t go to work a few hours a week! And I have others, like myself, who love being with their kids 24/7!!
x
The only thing that matters is that your happy and your beautiful bambino are happy
August 12th, 2011 - 10:10
If we could make the money work I would still want at least a part time job. I don’t know how people do it, but being home day after day would drive me crazy! And like you said, it is better to be happy. If you are happy then you are a better monther to your son and wife to your husband as well
August 12th, 2011 - 10:50
I think culture tells us that we need more stuff than we really do. But in reality, as you said, happiness is more important and can be attained by a lot more simpler methods than acquiring stuff. However, some people (me!) would go crazy if they were at home with the kids 24/7. I find that it is a balance of keeping me healthy and then I have more to give to my family when I am with them. Currently I’m working 3 days (2 if things are slow) a week and it is a perfect way to get out of the house and have some adult interaction and yet still be able to look forward to my time home with the kiddos. And the grandparents have them the days I’m gone which makes it a double bonus. Perhaps when the kids are in school I might be up for focusing on more career growth but right now I’m enjoying having something that gets me out of the house and challenges my brain in other ways besides child rearing (which is definitely a challenge of a different sort!)
Good luck to you as you pursue the options that come your way – don’t discount the part time option – its good for keeping your foot in the door and still having time with that precious little one that grows up so fast!
August 12th, 2011 - 10:57
Very diplomatic approach to an extremely touchy subject! I’m of the mind-set that a job is merely an exchange of money and benefits for my time and energy.
It sounds like for you, one of the “benefits” is that unquantifiable feeling of doing good things in the world. They probably didn’t have a line for that on the SAHM calculator.
I hope you find the part-time work you’re looking for and get the best of both worlds!
August 12th, 2011 - 11:19
I wish I could be a SAHM. I would probably pursue one of my several hobbies, though, and try to parlay it into some kind of part-time work. I often feel out of touch with my son, since I’m not even really raising him.
It makes me really sad.
August 12th, 2011 - 11:23
Great post and lots of things to consider. A part time job would be great and with medical writing, it seems like there would be freelance type opportunities or telecommuting available. I’m glad you’re not willing to give up things that are fun and keep you sane. Life is worth living!
August 12th, 2011 - 11:29
I really hope that you find the ideal job soon, Jen. It’s great that you’ve thought everything through and know what you want to do. That’s a step in the right direction, right? I’m a master at grocery budgeting, by the way. So if you need help, let me know!
August 12th, 2011 - 11:38
Such a challenge! I have 3 now, ages 7, 5 and 2. Days are busy and as hard as it is, I love being able to be “home” with them. I now have my own business but consider it a passion and a hobby. It took me a few years to figure out how to do both. I’ve designed my business so that I can work from home on my time. It’s definitely difficult at times to separate the two and have time to get my workouts in, spend time with my husband but it works. Time management is key. Everyone has to find what works best for their situation and goals. I think you will be able to figure out a good balance.
August 12th, 2011 - 11:52
Thank you for a very well-written and thoughtful post on this touchy and difficult subject. The stay-at-home vs. working mom decision is such a taxing one to think about and make. I completely understand your want to stay at home yet continue to work at least part-time. In fact, this very want has been at the core of many discussion between me and my husband lately! We, too, would face the same financial hardships if I stayed home, though, so at least for now it’s out of the questions.
Whatever happens, I hope you find a position at work and at home that leaves you happy!
August 12th, 2011 - 12:29
I did not think I wanted to be a stay at home mom until I held my daughter in my arms. I was working a dream job in the running industry (my passion) and could not have imagined leaving that world. Once I had her – I knew from that moment I HAD to figure out a way to be home with her all time (I understand not all moms have this same feeling and that’s fine) We tried to cut back as much as possible and still were not able to afford me being home……. till she was 1 when we found out I was preggo with baby #2. It worked out perfect because at that point having 2 kids in daycare would have been INSANE. I still find ways to feed my passion, I find ways to make $$ relatively from home [freelance writing, working for races like National Marathon, etc. and other running related positions]. For me being an at home mom is the most important job I feel like I could ever have.
Kuddos to you for being honest in how you feel! I’ll be interested to see how you feel once baby arrives
August 12th, 2011 - 12:40
I know extending the student loans doesn’t sound like a good idea but . . . if you haven’t consolidated the loans yet — do it! Also, remember that the interest can be taken off of your taxes at the end of the year. So kind of good debt to have!!
I agree — I would love to work part time when the baby gets here. I know that staying home full time would make me C-R-A-Z-Y!! Part time allows for good baby time, plus good grown up/adult conversation time!!
Good luck!!
August 12th, 2011 - 12:45
Jen…. I so relate to this post. And I am pretty much in the same boat as you. I always thought I wanted to work but now I’m not sure because my job is so demanding and the hours are so long… and I’m not sure I would want to be away from my baby for that long. If you could get another job that you could work part-time from home that would be ideal. I hope I could get something like that when the time comes too…
Thanks for being so honest!
August 12th, 2011 - 12:49
I would love to be able to be a stay at home mom if we could afford it. But I also have no idea how impacted I would feel about not bringing home any money and not having a job to go to everyday outside of the house. I have no way of telling if that would make me happy or extremely isolated and depressed until I’m actually in the situation. I know I shouldn’t take into consideration what other people think of me, but I know that I would feel kind of embarrassed to be a stay at home mom. It’s not very common among my family or close friends. However, I have yet to discover any sort of passion or career that appeals to me more than being a full-time wife and mother, so I think I would be suitable for it.
August 12th, 2011 - 13:13
I don’t have kids yet but really appreciate the discussion, it is a hard decision and feel like there is so much mommy guilt out there about this subject. Families need to do what is best for them!
August 12th, 2011 - 13:32
Its an interesting debate. You know, I never thought twice about going to medical school and assumed I’d be able to do it all. Now, that I really see the time crunch working mothers are under, it makes me sad that I may not be the one always picking my kid up from school. Considering I’ve spent far too much time and effort in becoming a doctor, I will be a working mother (provided I get married and have kdis and such!). I think the positives of being a working mother are, that as long as you enjoy your job and it fulfills you, it makes you a better mother because you are at peace with everything else in your life and don’t feel regret for giving up a career. Even if I was a stay at home mom, I still think I’d find something to be involved with – running, tennis, charity, being involved in my kids school, etc.
Very interesting discussion and a relevant question for women these days.
August 12th, 2011 - 16:50
there’s always part time! being a dr doesn’t have to mean 80 hours/week for life
August 15th, 2011 - 09:35
I used to babysit for a family where the mom (a pediatrician) worked 3 days a week. She put her kids in preschool for 2 of those days for socialization and school-readiness and then she worked on Saturdays when her husband was home from work to stay with the kids. Seemed like a nice balance.
August 12th, 2011 - 15:37
I love your honesty in this post. Being a mom is most important to me (7 weeks pregnant) but so is not being in a financial hole. In a couple years I will be the breadwinner so staying home has never been an option. But making a career switch where I could be home more or not work night shift or have actually have weekends off. In a perfect world
August 12th, 2011 - 16:55
Maybe you can find some freelance stuff to do that allows you to stay home….bc when you see that precious face, you are not going to want to leave it
August 12th, 2011 - 17:59
You should check out the book Flux. It’s a collection of vignettes about women dealing with the same issues you just wrote about. =)
http://www.amazon.com/Flux-Women-Work-Half-Changed-World/dp/038549887X
August 12th, 2011 - 18:02
Great post, and lots of good things to consider and talk about, but I wanted to just point out really quick, regarding your comment “I’m still looking for a full-time job, but finding one that will let me take a maternity leave is highly unlikely.”… you may know this better than me with your background, but according to FMLA, don’t you HAVE to be granted maternity leave? I mean, it might not be paid, but my understanding is that they have to give you 12 weeks off, and hold your job for you. I also believe that not hiring you because you’re pregnant violates discrimination laws. They might not be fights you want to have right now, but you do have rights, as a woman and as a mother. Just something to consider.
August 12th, 2011 - 22:06
They’d hire me but I wouldn’t get maternity leave. FMLA works only if you’ve worked for the company for 1200+ hours in the past year. So I wouldn’t be eligible.
August 12th, 2011 - 18:59
This is so, so personal – but I could never be a SAHM. I am a working mom and I LOVE it. The first year is HARD. I’m not going to lie. It sucked dropping my babies off, but as they got older and more independent I grew to appreciate the time we have apart (temper tantrums do that!). Plus, the daycares we have chosen are AMAZING. They have taught my kids things that I would have never imagined or had the patience for. They are very, very social and have no problems making friends and meeting new people. They adapt easily. Ideally, I would work part time – but even that has challenges.
I don’t know if there’s ever a RIGHT answer, but I do think that you will figure out what works for you and your family.
August 12th, 2011 - 23:57
I don’t have kids, but I when I do have babies I plan to keep working full time, both for money and my sanity. I need adult interaction, to get out of the house, and to feel like I’m contributing monetarily to the household. Personally, if I was forced to cut back the bare bones to stay home I might end up starting to feel a little resentful, which isn’t good for anyone. But, that’s just me, the childless twenty-seven year old!
I think you’re doing a great job looking at everything from every possible perspective.
August 13th, 2011 - 00:23
I really do hope you can get a non tradational job, the kind that you can still be a super awesome mommy, train and work in the public health field!
August 13th, 2011 - 17:39
This is a really thoughtful post, Jen. My mom worked as a lawyer full-time until I was 10 (brother was 8, sister was 5), when she stopped to be home with us, and didn’t go back to work until my sister left for college. It was such a hard decision for her, but at the end of the day with 3 kids she said she felt like she was missing way too much. She said when we got home from school, we would all do an “information dump” where we would spill out everything about our day to the babysitter, but by the time she got home that information was gone. Now she’s back to work and is definitely challenged, having not been in the field for over 10 years, but I don’t think she regrets staying home for one second, especially because my dad has always had to work a lot. Every family and every mom is different, and you are definitely thinking about things from all angles and I know you will strike the balance that’s right for you, Jen! Thanks for sharing your thoughts on this.
August 14th, 2011 - 20:27
Kudos on your honest post. I have two kids and while I will never financially have the opportunity to be a stay-at-home mom, I never desired it. Well, I’m lying. I wanted it when my kids were each 3-4 months old and I had to go back to work after a 12 week maternity leave. But after getting back into the groove each time, I cannot imagine being home every day. I need my structured grown up time and it doesn’t hurt that they pay me for it.
Good luck on your job hunt!
August 18th, 2011 - 15:57
I always find it really fascinating to see what other spend their money on and what is “normal” or “cutting back for them”. For me, eating out is a VERY rare thing, like maybe for birthdays or once while on vacation. It is just not something I do often or would want to (unless it was free
). Same goes for going to the movies and on vacations. Where I spend money is more on the groceries (man I need to cut back on the expensive stuff…), and I like to get a face ax every three weeks to a month-my pampering. But I don’t think I could give up my landline, I ust love having one, and I would never want to no save for the future (I’ve been secretly saving since I was in sixth grade and that money is helping pay for my first year of college now). Best of luck to you and your family, and everyone else, as we all try to figure out how to manage financially right now. 
August 28th, 2011 - 01:23
Firstly, CONGRATULATIONS! I wish all the best to you, your husband, and your coming little one
I loved this post because it’s a far more urgent version of my own situation. I’m currently facing a medical challenge that may make it nearly impossible for me to work full-time for the foreseeable future… which is doubly difficult when I’m planning a family within the next year. My one suggestion is actually about becoming a one-car family. I don’t know how practical it would be in your neighbourhood, but maybe consider commuting by bicycle. It would be cheaper, greener, and be an easy way to keep yourself active. Off-Beat Home did a great article about using bikes as primary transportation: http://offbeathome.com/2011/05/bikes-car-lite
August 28th, 2011 - 08:09
My husband works until 8-9pm at night, and biking 20 miles in the dark isn’t a good idea. He would love it if he could bike to work since he’s a cyclist, but it’s not an option around here.
February 26th, 2012 - 22:30
I just found your blog and wanted to say thanks for sharing your journey. I’ve come away inspired to have an active pregnancy!
About this post specifically, I will say being a stay at home mom has been the most fulfilling experience of my life. I’ve grown so much personally and I know the time I have with my children when they are young can never be replaced. Childhood is fleeting, life is long.
I realize not everyone is able to stay at home, but I cringe when I read things like “are you able to cover your (already decided on) expenses comfortably?” I much prefer your approach of taking a hard, honest look at your current financial situation to see how you can make your dreams work. Leaving a career, for a season, to change diapers and bandage skinned knees (and oh so much more!) is tough but I think far more women could do it if they set their hearts on it.
I’ve worked from home, sometimes squeezing in 40 hours during naps and nighttimes, but have always taken care of my children and it’s been worth every sacrifice. Best of luck in your decision-making. You have an adorable baby boy!