Let go

Yesterday started off like any other Monday. I began working on a new project and chatted all morning with coworkers about the logistics.

I hit the gym at lunch and surprisingly had my best 4 mile run in weeks. I was on a high.

Then I called in to an afternoon meeting that was mandatory for my whole team. The news was not good: we were all being let go. In 30 days, none of us will have a job.

To say I'm shocked would be an understatement. I'm still unable to process what happened. We were always told we had excellent job security and never to worry, so this blindsided all of us.

In the 2.5+ years I've held my position, I've been nothing but grateful. It was honestly my dream job, and knowing that I won't be writing about pregnancy, exercise, or diabetes on a daily basis (and getting paid for it) truly saddens me.

And the fact that I was the breadwinner in the family and I'm currently 21 weeks pregnant scares me like nothing else. I have no idea how we're going to afford to live on one salary, let alone care for a baby.

But like my husband said, maybe it's a blessing in disguise. As much as I loved my job, it upset me that I'd have to return to work so quickly after my son's birth. Now, that's most likely not an issue.

My mom sent me the best quote last night "worrying doesn't take away tomorrow's troubles; it takes away today's peace."

So I'm keeping things in perspective. Thank God yesterday's horrible news had nothing to do with the baby. I've gotten a lot of "what horrible timing this is for you with a baby on the way" comments. And it is. But it would be much worse if we were still going through fertility treatments (we paid for them all out of pocket). This baby is the biggest blessing in my life and no other setbacks will take that feeling away from me. I also know that people have raised a baby with way fewer resources than what we have, so I'm trying not to panic.

In the meantime, I'm going to enjoy my last month at work, figure out our budget, and apply for jobs. I'm terrified that no one will hire a pregnant woman, but I'm trying to be optimistic that I'll land some writing gig. On that note, if anyone has leads on any health/ medical writer or health educator positions, please pass them along

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