This Runner's Trials
1Feb/1149

This time

Posted by runnerstrials

Housekeeping: I’m not really sure why my posts aren’t fully showing up in Google reader, but my blog designer/ web genius is working on it. I hope to have it fixed soon. And you don’t need to update your RSS feed. It should be the same :)

The wait is over.

I finished my pack of pills, got blood work, and the doctor got a closer view of my ovaries via transvaginal ultrasound (it wakes you up first thing in the morning better than yoga…) and guess what? I start my fertility meds today :)

This time feels so much different from when I took these drugs one year ago.

This time, I have a clear diagnosis- PCOS and endometriosis- instead of “oh you may be running too much”.

This time, I know the endometriosis is gone and don’t have to wonder if it’s clogging my reproductive system.

This time, I’m working with a group of fertility specialists who will monitor me closely throughout my cycle. I’ll be told exactly when I’m fertile, instead of having to guess.

This time, I see the statistics differently. I have a 15-20% chance of getting pregnant this cycle with this drug cocktail. That doesn’t seem like great odds, right? Oh but it is. I certainly would not board a plane that had a 15-20% chance of crashing. That also means approximately one in 6 women on my meds gets knocked up this month. I don’t see why that can’t be me. And cumulatively, over 3-5 cycles, I have a 40% chance of conceiving. Even better odds.

This time, I’m happy to take it easy. Cutting back on running and amping up the yoga has gone a lot better than I originally expected. Yay for yoga.

This time, my body has a little more fat to work with. I weigh 4.2 lbs. more today than on the day I started fertility meds last year (yup, I keep track of this stuff because I’m so type A ;) ). I knew I gained some weight marathon training and indulging over the holidays, but I also knew I should let those pounds stay put. Some extra body fat can only help my fertility, not hurt it.

This time, I’m positive I’m ready. I don’t have any lingering short-term fitness dreams. Last year, I became a triathlete and successfully trained for a marathon. This year, I don’t want to decorate myself with race medals; I want to fill my body with life.

This time, there are no worries of “what if it doesn’t work?” Because this time, I know growing my family is not a matter of “if”. It’s “when” :)

Do you have a positive mental attitude? I know it helps. Sometimes it's just so hard to be optimistic though!