This Runner's Trials
29Oct/1022

It's so different this time

Posted by runnerstrials

Earlier this year, when I was trying to (unsuccessfully) get knocked up, pregnancy symptoms consumed my mind. I scoured websites and asked formerly pregnant people about signs that indicate you’re with child.

Often, women warned that every pregnancy is different. Meaning that:

  • Just because one woman had sore boobs and fatigue in her “two week wait” doesn’t mean every pregnant woman does.
  • You’re not guaranteed to have similar symptoms in subsequent pregnancies.
  • Most importantly- in my case- you are not necessarily pregnant just because you have the “symptoms”.

Whatever. Every time my boobs hurt, eyes twitched, I smelled an unpleasant odor, or got up to pee in the middle of the night, I thought I was pregnant.

After months of torturing myself, I accepted the fact that just because I had a million signs of pregnancy, I was not gestating.

I didn’t get it. I did everything right. I had the symptoms. So, why wasn’t I pregnant? (if you really want to know, you can learn more in the Meet Jen section).

 

Well, folks, it’s because life sucks sometimes. Just because you try hard to do something, you’re not guaranteed to be successful.

You know where I’m going with this now ;)

In the week before marathon attempt #1 of this season, I thought I did everything right:

  • My brain was marathon, marathon, marathon. Seriously, every time I sat down to type something my fingers magically typed runnersworld.com.
  • I bugged experienced marathoner friends for advice.
  • I got 9 to 10 hours of sleep each night.
  • I carbo-loaded.
  • I followed my training plan exactly.
  • I had a beautiful final training run.
  • I set out my race outfit and fuel days before and stared at it daily.

And, we know how this worked out for me.

This time?

  • I’ve averaged 6.5 hours of sleep per night.
  • I’m not forcing myself to eat anymore than I want to.
  • I've had no training plan to follow.
  • I cut my last training run 1 mile short because I wanted to go home and drink coffee. True story.
  • I have no idea what I’m wearing for the race.
  • I keep forgetting I’m running a marathon on Saturday. I read Jen’s blog the other day and saw how prepared she was and got really excited for her. Then I though “crap! I’m racing this weekend, too, and I’ve done nothing to get ready!” Instead of running down my stairs and gathering my things, I forgot about the race again. Last night, Caitlin mentioned how she still needed to charge her Garmin. I can honestly say I have no clue where my Garmin is...

I don’t understand how my anal, type A self is so unprepared this go around. How could I literally have done nothing when I'm leaving for the race at 5 am tomorrow?

I don't know and I'm not sure I care (I will care though when I show up tomorrow morning without my shoes...). I did everything right to prepare last time, and everything went wrong on race day. So, I’m hoping the opposite works this time. I guess I’ll have my answer around noon tomorrow :)

Are you a fan of reverse psychology?

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